How to Change Your Perspective
A few thoughts while at Perception Cafe
But we know that beauty comes from within - the real person is more than
just what is seen with the visible eye.
Ask yourself who you are and
explore the person called ‘me'.
Story By: Becky
Photos By: Manon Thore
I find it fascinating that we perceive ourselves differently from how others view us.
It’s also interesting to see how these perceptions change over time without us even knowing. When I was in high school, I disliked my body. My hips were ‘too wide,’ I was ‘too tall,’ my nose was ‘too awkward.’ I could barely look at my own reflection. Now, past high school and learning about health and fitness, I rediscovered some old high school pictures and was surprised to see how slim I really was. Rather than actively changing a wrong perception about myself, it seems that time and knowledge naturally replaced a false perception with a more honest one.
Changing someone’s perspective is not an easy thing. The same can be said about changing our own perspectives, but you have much greater power over your own mind. I will also tell you that ridding yourself of negative perceptions about people (and yourself) will only make your life that much better.
As I sit in this airy, elegantly designed, one-room cafe called Perception Cafe, here are just a few ways I’ve been implementing in my own life.
The perfect example is learning about health and fitness to overcome the warped view I had about my body. Learning broadens our mind and I’m a firm believer that through reading we see the world in many different ways that we could never experience in just one life. Not only does education mean we are actively adding knowledge to our minds, it has a mysterious multiplying effect - the more you learn, the more you realize you don’t know. For every new thing you learn, you recognize humbly that there are ten other things you don’t know yet.
It’s so easy to show to other people the sides we only want them to see. We get caught up in the social media life and end up getting consumed looking at our outside appearance; do I look good? But we know that beauty comes from within - the real person is more than just what is seen with the visible eye. Ask yourself who you are and explore the person called ‘me'. You’ll need to give yourself a good, hard look-over and see what you like and what you don’t. What can be improved? What is something you love about yourself? Is this really the kind of person you want to be? Self-Awareness is the first step to self-improvement.
I hate it, but it’s true. Getting humbled can reveal so much about ourselves and give us clarity. Some perceptions are negative but in the sense that we have an inflated view of our greatness. If you haven’t heard it yet, let me be the first to say it - no matter how smart, how pretty, or how talented you are, there is someone out there who is better than you. The good news? Your value is not found in the number of followers you have or the amount of money in the bank or how symmetrical your face is. Getting humbled straightens out big-headed perceptions we have about ourselves in quickly and often painfully. But it’s good in the long run
Trying something new teaches you something new. Traveling to places hitherto unknown reveals a lot about yourself and the cultures you hail from. We often uphold our way as best; we sometimes have harmful perceptions about cultures and people groups that we don’t realize we are carrying until we come face to face with those cultures and people. I once perceived eggplant as weird, squishy food (totally false) but after I experienced it in a grilled parmesan dish my perception completely changed :) When it comes to experiences, I don’t think I’m alone when I say that I’m far more willing to learn from a person who has actually gone through the crazy ups and downs of life and come out wiser for it.
This is the easily the worst-feeling way to change your perceptions. Once we realize the pain of losing someone special to us, the way we perceive life and time dramatically changes. Loss heightens our awareness of what we do have. On a smaller scale than life and death, I remember the first time I failed an audition for the school play. I wanted it so badly and believed I deserved that role. When I was rejected even from the chorus, I cried into my pillow, bewailing the injustice. I will tell you, however, after that I worked twice as hard to never feel the sting of failure again - impossible to avoid forever, but healthy pain can be the greatest motivator at times.
The secret to all of this is to be willing to accept the fact that you may have been wrong.
I’ve experienced time and time again what it feels like to have someone perceive who I am based on their limited perceptions - as a mixed Korean in Korea, I’m often faced with the opinions of others, judged right from the first time they lay eyes on me. Though I cannot demand how others perceive me, I do have the power to explore who I am and who I want to be.
The perceptions of others may or may not change over time but how I perceive myself is the first step to a greater happiness.
Visit Perception Cafe when you can. It’s undeniably gorgeous, with the light wood and unusual wavy ceiling. Their interior design is award-winning
An original Cafe Hunter post from 2018