저희 결혼합니다
It’s finally happening.
We met in 2018. Got engaged in 2020. Lived in Seoul. Restarted our lives in New York City. And now, in 2024, have finally set an official date.
Our wedding story feels so simple and simultaneously difficult. In some ways, I know that we’ve had it easy. We got engaged while living in Korea and both of our immediate families were in the U.S. Our dating experience was blissfully parent-free. Just long, pleasant, sunlit days spent in cafes and restaurants around Seoul, without scrutiny or questions.
But in the last five years, I’ve watched friends as they’ve tied the knot, celebrated their unions in picture-perfect ceremonies that seemed to come together in the blink of an eye, and (somewhat jealously) cheered them on as they slipped into married life. They all followed the Life Guidebook effortlessly.
Having a wedding has felt like a distant obstacle for so long, it doesn’t seem believable to actually be planning one right now.
Our engagement story is lovely and deserves a post in itself, so I won’t talk too much about that now. After all, I know why you’re reading this - you’re wondering if you should throw a wedding in Korea. And if I may make another guess, you’re probably not living in Korea at this moment, either.
The question you’re hoping to answer is ‘is it possible to throw a wedding in Korea while in a different country? And where does one begin?”
It most definitely is possible. But you’ll need a little help.
The Korean wedding industry is a neatly structured system, packaged for your convenience. It’s a well-oiled machine that doesn’t allow for much DIY inspiration. Going vendor-by-vendor and hoping they’ll all show up on time on The Big Day is a headache anyway.
If you are planning from out of country, or even from within the country, your first step is to Hire a Wedding Planner
It is necessary to speak Korean to plan a wedding efficiently in Korea. There are contracts to look over and details you don’t want to misunderstand. If you are not fluent in Korea (and frankly, even if you are), hire a wedding planner who can manage all of the conversations and finalize decisions for you. Trust me - this will make all the difference.
Lucky for you, there are great wedding planner services who are super knowledgeable, wallet-friendly and excellent communicators. Hiring a wedding planner was our very first thing we did once we finally decided on having a wedding this year (!) and finding her wasn’t too difficult.
Very Good Wedding (베리굿웨딩) is a popular service. You will get connected with a wedding planner who will walk you through everything all the way until you walk down the aisle. This company partners with vendors and can get you special discounts. They know the ins-and-outs of the industry and help make your decisions much easier.
I don’t need to comb through twenty different options - our wedding planner presents me with two or three that she recommends, providing information like costs, schedule availability and her personal thoughts about each, and then I make the final decision.
Trust me - you don’t need to see every possible choice. Avoid the analysis paralysis and follow the experts.
My ultimate suggestion?
Connect with Sarah 신세라. She’s fluent in English and Korean and is amazing. There is very little wiggle room to personalize your wedding, since the Korean wedding industry is pretty inflexible, but Sarah understands that and does her best to help make the day unique to each couple. Just say that Becky recommended her. She’s fantastic.
Congratulations! You hired your wedding planner.
Next: Book the venue!
Let’s break down the types of wedding venues in Korea.
Wedding Hall: These tend to be dramatic and heavily produced. An in-house wedding singer, hired groomsmen who march down the aisle with bayonets, bright spotlights that follow the couple down the raised runway as the audience watches. They can range from faux-luxurious with plastic flowers hanging from the ceiling, to extremely high-end hotel venues designed specially for weddings. There are usually multiple weddings happening at once in different halls in the same building, so there’s little intimacy and everything runs on a very tight schedule. The biggest benefit is wedding halls can handle almost everything in-house. So while it might not be particularly unique or private, many couples choose wedding halls for the convenience.
Churches: They range from the humble to grand to minimally chic. Some places are actually churches and cathedrals - like 온누리교회 or 명동성당 - or are wedding halls designed to look like churches. There’s a sweet little church in Jeju for those who wish to elope or have a wedding with just two or three people present. Churches can be a nice choice if you are already a regular attendee at one. Though Korea is a largely Christian nation, it is not a religious requirement to marry within a church.
And finally, another option is Traditional - a beautiful hanok. (If I were getting married in spring or fall, I would have chosen a hanok.) They’re especially lovely if you’re doing pyebaek 폐백 after the ceremony.
This article shows some beautiful hanok wedding options, and here’s a naver blog about a wedding held at 두가헌.
Small Wedding Venues 스몰웨딩: In Korea, when you say “small wedding,” you actually mean a wedding that isn’t handled entirely by a wedding hall, and usually has less people. These venues can range from more intimate wedding halls to a rented house or a pretty garden. Sometimes these venues include services like food and decorations. Small Weddings tend to be more flexible and are growing in popularity.
Make sure you book your wedding hall right away. Spring and fall tends to book up quickly, so if you have a special place in mind, try to book as soon as you can.
Your wedding planner can contact the venue for you and figure out available dates. Some places will require you visit in person to book the location. If that is the case, then your wedding planner can go on your behalf for an additional fee, or you can ask a family member if you have one in Korea.
Others will let you communicate via email or kakaotalk and sign the contract virtually.
You’ll typically make a 30% deposit to hold the location, and then a month or two out from D-Day, you’ll pay another percentage. Some places will let you pay the remaining cost after the buffet - this is so that you can use some of the wedding gift money that you received that day! Very efficient, see?
Rent, don’t buy.
For my ladies who are indecisive, the dress tour is just for you.
In Korea, most of the wedding dress shops are gathered on one street. Your wedding planner will help you select three shops you’d like to visit and arrange a tour for you to visit them all on one day. You’ll visit each shop, where you have one hour to try on about four dresses that you’ve already selected beforehand either through instagram or browsing the shop’s website. After your tour, decide which shop and dress you want to rent for the wedding. If you decide on that same day, you might get a discount. The shop will provide you with accessories and a veil. Some even will lend you shoes (though I suggest you buy your own).
Here’s a handy tip. Are you planning on doing a pre-wedding photoshoot?
If so, then rent your photoshoot dresses from the same shop. The dress shop will give you a much better price for a wedding dress rental + three photoshoot dresses rental, than if you get your photoshoot dresses somewhere else.
As for the wedding day? The shop will have your dress delivered to the hair & makeup studio where you are getting ready.
If you’re short on time, you don’t have to do a full wedding dress tour. You can select one shop, three dresses to try on, and do it all in one hour. Select from amongst the three and voila! You’ve said yes to the dress with very little fuss.
As for the tux?
Many grooms opt to have a tux tailor-made, because the quality is high and the price is decent. Depending on the shop you go through and your wedding planner’s sweet, sweet connections, you might get a pair of handmade dress shoes included for free.
If you’re planning on having a customized tuxedo, you’ll need at least two weeks before the wedding to do all of the fittings. A few shops can squeeze it all into one week - though you run the risk of a suit that doesn’t fit perfectly.
Otherwise, arrange to rent a tuxedo. The shops are nearby the wedding dresses, so you can easily do dress and tuxedo fittings on the same day.
Hanbok for the Mothers 혼주한복
The mothers of the Bride and Groom will wear hanboks, with matching style and harmonizing colors. It’s a little old-school but mother of the Groom typically wears blue and mother of the Bride is in pink.
It’s simple to set separate fitting dates at a hanbok rental. A day or two before the wedding, pick up the hanbok from the shop. (Though I’ve seen some get theirs delivered, I’m not sure if the shop handles that or if you’ll need to find a third-party.)
So mom doesn’t want to rent? You can have a hanbok custom made - 한복맞춤. The hanbok needs some time, and your mom will need to go into the shop for a number of fittings, so plan this at least two weeks before the wedding.
There are a few shops that will make a hanbok for you remotely. They’ll tell you exactly what measurements they need and communicate with you via kakaotalk. This is what we are doing for Cedric’s mom. We’ll go in for the final fitting a few days in advance, and then pick up the dress the day before the wedding.
Shops will lend a hairpiece and 고무신 (shoes to wear with hanbok.) Have white socks prepared and buy the customary pearl earrings for the special day.
*little fact: most moms just buy cheap pearl earrings off of coupang.
청첩장 - Wedding Invitations
If you are in Korea now, you can get many pretty invitations made and printed for a low cost. Depending on the vendor, they’ll give you a free digital version.
If paper invites are not your thing, or you are currently overseas (Korean invitation shops will not mail the invites to you out of country), it isn’t a bad idea to go the digital invitation route.
Ask your wedding planner for invitation vendors - they’ll likely have some special discounts - and have them made for you. These might be around 50,000 KRW and are finished quickly with your information, a calendar, engagement photos, bank info (so that guests can send you money gifts), and any additional things you want your guests to know. You can then text or email the invite to whomever you like.
Hair and Makeup
Basically all of the hair and makeup studios for weddings are in the same area in Cheongdam 청담. Your wedding planner will show you some options and you can select which one you like. Price can differ depending on the seniority of who will be doing the hair and makeup.
Ladies, you will be the most expensive. Gentlemen? Your hair and makeup is automatically included, so you might as well get powdered up for the day!
Set up appointments for the Mothers of the Bride and Groom at separate shops so that everyone can get ready comfortably. Moms will get dressed at the venue. The Bride, however, will get dressed at the makeup shop. A dress assistant will bring the dress and help you get changed.
*tip - Book a Kakao taxi in advance so that you don’t need to wait to flag one down.
A quick note for my friends who don’t fall into the narrow range of traditional Korean skin and hair. Though times are changing, not many places know how to handle darker skin or curly hair, or even have the proper makeup and tools. I would definitely check ahead of time to see if they have examples of customers with your skin or hair type.
Though it isn’t common, some couples opt to hire freelance hair and makeup artists, instead of going to the typical wedding makeup shops, and get ready at their own residences. This is another choice if you don’t feel comfortable getting ready at a Korean makeup shop!
Gifts for the Bride & Groom
This is one of the best things about a Korean wedding - no registry.
Instead, guests bring cash gifts in envelopes and drop them in a collection box at the entrance. You can write your name on the envelope if you’d like to brag a little and sign the guestbook. The person managing the collection box might notate how much money you gave, so the bride and groom can keep track.
Here’s the thing: Korean weddings are a personal business.
It’s the time parents can reap the rewards for giving cash gifts at the weddings of their friends’ kids. Weddings are the perfect occasion for your parents to show off a little and invite all of their friends - 우리 딸은 너무 이쁘지! 씩씩한 우리 아들 좀 봐라! A money gift is the way to show their affection. Some parents keep a very close record of who gave what in the past and expect it to come back equally on their own child’s wedding day.
Managed well, and you can pay off your wedding through these money gifts - and even make a little extra to kickstart married life.
Pre-Wedding Photoshoot
There’s no need to rush to take photos after the ceremony - have them done days before at a studio. I mentioned previously about the pre-wedding photoshoot dresses and renting them from the same dress shop. This is the day you’ll wear them.
Your wedding planner can help you select the studio you like, depending on the style you want. Dramatic? Simple with a white backdrop? Cinematic? Outdoors?
The couple can get their hair and makeup done at the same shop they’ll be using for their wedding day for a discounted package deal. Pay a little extra to have an assistant who will handle your three dresses and any accessories, so that all you need to worry about is looking fabulous. This is commonly done and well-worth the money.
These are the photos you have printed and framed for the entrance table, so get them done well in advance if you want them ready by the wedding day.
The studios have these photoshoots down to a perfect art. Poses, dress arrangement, backdrops, etc. Even the most camera-shy and awkward individual will look great, so don’t be nervous and have fun!
Here’s some sweet samples from 피움스튜디오
Download Kakaotalk on your phone. Everyone in Korea uses this app. We use this to send important information, contracts, make bookings, schedule events, handle business dealings, make free international phone calls, send photos… absolutely everything. This is a necessity for planning a wedding in Korea.
Read here for must-have apps for life in Korea. (To Be Updated)
A couple miscellaneous things…
Flowers: The venue will provide you a few options, usually through vendors they work with or in-house. You’ll know closer to the date which flowers are in season. Selecting your ‘colors’ isn’t really possible in advance.
Cake: Some venues require you to go with their in-house cake. It is primarily just for the ceremonial first slice and photos - it is typically served only to the immediate families, if at all. If you want to order a cake specially and in enough amount for all of your guests to enjoy some, A. check with your venue first to see if it’s allowed and B. find a cake shop that will accommodate.
Seating Arrangement: There’s the Bride’s side and the Groom’s side, seats for the families, but other than that, there usually isn’t a defined seating chart. Depending on your venue, some people might not sit at all. You’ll also have some who come, drop off their money gift and go straight to the buffet.
Officiant: You can hire somebody, ask your pastor, or, in our case, have your father do it! We are legally married on paper already so our officiant doesn’t technically need to be ordained.
Emcee 사회자: This person directs the whole show. Follow their directions to go through the ceremony step-by-step. Some venues have a script prepared already, so you don’t need to start from zero.
Special wedding song 축가: Who’s going to sing the special song at our wedding? Usually I’m the wedding singer, but we’ll need to find somebody to do a nice performance. It’s equal parts awkward and fun to sing on the stage while the Bride and Groom stare at you.
There is no rehearsal dinner, party-like reception (unless you plan for one specifically) or dancing.
Depending on your venue, you might be able to add an extra hour for an afterparty. Or you can take your close friends and family to a nearby bar and party there.
So you’re getting married!
축하합니다!
Take full advantage of the affordable and excellent skincare and beauty treatments before the wedding, enjoy your time and make some memories!
The perfect wedding isn’t one that goes without mistakes - it’s one that heralds a new chapter of your life, celebrated together with the ones who have been with you all along the way.
And if you have more questions… ask your wedding planner. She’ll know everything.