I was born in 1989 near Cologne in West Germany to a Korean mother and German father.
In 1975, my mother came to Germany to work as a nurse. Between 1966 and 1977, the German government recruited about 8,000 Korean miners and 10,000 Korean nurses as so-called ‘guest workers‘ to Germany, and my mother was one of them.
She originally planned to stay for only three years, but that changed when she met my father in the small town where she worked. They got married in 1978. She was one of my biggest role models growing up. I saw her as a strong woman because I admired her for building a new life in a foreign country. Compared to other Korean women living abroad, she was very progressive and modern, though was much stricter than the parents of my German friends.
Every few years, we traveled to Korea and visited my relatives. At that time, my Korean family lived in Gyeong-Ju and Busan. These visits were very important to me even if I could not talk to my relatives.
My mother did not teach me Korean as a second language, but fortunately my cousins speak English, and I learned at least a few useful Korean phrases as a child. When I was a little kid, I did not like Korean food and didn’t even know how to use chopsticks. We rarely used them at home. Of course, we had a rice cooker and sometimes ate 잡채 (Korean glass noodles), 만두 (dumplings) and 파전 (Korean pancakes). But my mother cooked a lot of German food, and didn't like having the strong kimchi smell in the fridge.
It was when I went to Korea by myself for the first time when I started to love all Korean food. Before that, I didn’t have a strong connection with Korean culture. I just didn’t know enough about it.
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The 60th anniversary of the agreement between South Korea and Germany to employ Korean workers in Germany was in 2023. This anniversary had special meaning for me. It made me realize once again how little the history of Korean nurses is known in Germany.
I am a member of the organizing team for the German-Korean association HanDo e.V., which is an organization for second generation Koreans in West Germany and people interested in Korea. To celebrate the 60th anniversary of the recruitment agreement with South Korea, our organization was invited to a celebration in Cologne's city hall.
I think it is very important to pass down knowledge about culture and history because it is part of our identities. I really wish that more of Korean culture had been passed down to me. I believe that if I had learned more about Korean culture earlier, it would have helped me find my identity sooner.
As a teenager, I struggled a lot with that. I had a lot of arguments with my mother and had a hard time finding my own identity, which led to insecurity. When I met other half-Koreans for the first time in my 20s, I realized that I wished I had mixed-race role models growing up.
In 2008, I participated in a 3-month language and culture program in Seoul supported by the Korean government for the children of gyopos (Koreans living abroad). During this time, I was in Korea by myself for the first time and met so many half-Koreans or young Koreans living abroad. They grew up in countries like the US, Japan, Argentina, Russia, and Switzerland, but we still had so many things in common. I made a lot of friends at that time and I am still in touch with some of them after many years. Before that, I did not have such a community because I grew up in a small town where not many Koreans live.
I feel very privileged to live in Germany. It’s a rich country with many social security systems. I really admire Korea for its culture and rapid innovation, but because I know both worlds as a halfie, I also think that I notice the shortcomings in both worlds more quickly than others. I am probably more critical of the injustices in Korean society than most Koreans. At the same time, I sometimes wish Germans would be more relaxed, but also have the courage to innovate faster.
I have a very strong sense of justice. Having experienced marginalization and racism myself, I can empathize with people who experience similar discrimination and injustice. As a journalist, I think it is important to report on injustices and find constructive solutions.
It has become important for me to talk about my German-Korean background, even with people I have just met.
From people who don’t have a migrant history I often hear things like, “Oh, I'm surprised” or even “You don't look Korean at all!” I've tried to be empathetic, but the more I think about it, the more I realize how much these sentences bother me. It feels like they're denying a part of my identity.
Even though I'm White-passing, it doesn't mean that I don't experience racism. There are cultural differences. It often feels like people want to categorize me, but there is no appropriate "category" for half-Koreans. I wish people would ask me different questions, like “What do you like most about Korea?” Or just “Cool, it's exciting that you're half Korean - tell me more about it.” Maybe my words will change some people’s perspectives a little bit.
What is home? To be honest, this question is quite emotional for me.
I consider both Germany and South Korea to be 'home'. I am very happy to live in Germany because I think we have a better work-life balance than Koreans, and employees have more rights. I don't want to live in Korea, but I feel like my heart or 마음 is in Korea and I am the happiest person whenever I can visit my second home.