Written by Becky 베키

Conversely, we despise when our group, whatever it might be, is lumped together as a whole and slapped with a negative label, even if some of it might be rooted in reality.

That’s the frustrating and funny thing about stereotypes. We like to pick and choose which positive stereotypes we want to keep while simultaneously we decry negative stereotypes used against us.

When we hear the word STEREOTYPE I think we instinctually believe it’s a bad thing. But I also know that we all use stereotypes to navigate a complex world. Or to have a good laugh during a comedy special. I’m not disagreeing with any of that - we laugh at a joke based off of a racial stereotype because we know that the stereotype is only partly true and we can poke fun at that together.

It’s when we blindly accept negative stereotypes as absolutes that we are lead to some pretty nasty conclusions.

But what about those positive stereotypes, like the ones I listed above?

Sometimes, positive stereotypes are carried over from one side of your heritage:

For example:

Let’s say you believe that African American men are strong and good at sports (positive characteristics) and then you meet a guy who is mixed Black and Korean and he does something physically impressive.

You might say “그러니까, 아빠는 흑인 분이시잖아!” (Well, of course! His dad is Black!)

Or for another example, you meet a mixed Korean-Italian girl who is light and breezy. She’s not overly concerned about 눈치 봐-ing and her father is from Italy. So, looking at her easy going manner, you might say “Oh, she’s so chill and friendly because she’s also Italian.”

But wait a minute!

Which part of that statement is rooted in a positive stereotype and which part is acknowledging that individual’s personality (she’s a low-key girl) or their hard work (he works out every day)?

At first glance, a positive stereotype seems different than a negative stereotype, but ultimately it does the same thing - strips down a full human being to the qualities or characteristics you prefer to believe.

If you can say “we all know that this group of people are all like A, B, and C,” then that can be used to justify your actions.

Let’s give another example:

“Asian women are exotic and beautiful! Therefore, my creepy behavior isn’t fetishization, but admiration for their beauty.”

Take it a step farther?

“Asian women are inherently hyper-sexual, submissive and docile. Therefore, infantilizing and objectifying them is only natural.”

We talked about this in a video that has been setting our Youtube comments on fire. Here’s one of those many comments that makes my point for me:

“At 16, I figured out the Asian chicks
don't age. At 23, I figured out that
Asian chicks are smart, hard workers.
It's not my fault that Asian chicks are smart, hard workers and don't age.
And HALFIE (aka Becky),
you aren't my type.”

Basically, “since we know that these positive stereotypes A, B and C are true, then I can treat Asian women accordingly and I shouldn’t be blamed for any negative outcomes. It’s not my fault Asian women are that way.”

I’m just devastated that I’m not his type.*

But this is the difficulty with addressing positive stereotypes - the negative outcomes can be so easily dismissed.

If I ever spoke about my difficulty being mixed Korean or when I was asked which country I liked better, people would usually say,

”근데 본인은 혼혈인이잖아! 나쁜 점 보다 좋은 점이 훨씸 많다고 생각하거든. 나도 혼혈인이었으면 좋겠다.”
”But you’re mixed! I think it’s far better than bad. I wish I was a halfie.”

I’m left nodding and saying, you’re right, it’s pretty great. To disagree would look ungracious. Many times people aren’t so keen to talk about your struggles if they want to happily believe the positive stereotypes.

We don’t need to look far from the history of mixed Koreans to see that Korean adoptees deal with positive stereotypes on a regular basis. Each person has their own experience, so understand that I don’t speak for everyone (I never do and never could claim that), but it’s not uncommon to see an adoptee’s struggles being dismissed with:

“Well, you were the lucky one because you didn’t have to grow up poor/suffering/in a single mother’s home/in a country that doesn’t like mixed people, etc".”

This kind of response shuts down the greater conversation that I personally believe is extremely valuable and important to be had - that the positive stereotypes the world has spun about adoptees aren’t all true.

Besides that, positive stereotypes surrounding adoption forces people to keep their hardships to themselves - if I’m so lucky to have been adopted, to have been plucked from a potentially horrible life and placed in a family that wanted me, then who am I to say anything against that?

At first glance, positive stereotypes may look much nicer than negative stereotypes, but ultimately both negative and positive stereotypes do the same thing; strip us down into over-simplified and incomplete characterizations - even caricatures - of who we really are.

The bottom line is that stereotypes, whether positive or negative, do nothing more than force someone into a box of your or society’s making, and that denies people of their full humanity. Tread lightly with stereotypes, that’s all I can say.

*Surprise, this is a lie!

If you have a response or want to share anything with us,
write in to hello@thehalfieproject.com